::: This is love :::

Life is good.

Life is really good.

But Life is even better with Jesus.

It's often, I find, I cannot find words to express myself properly. Language challenges do add complexities to this...  How good life has been with Him is indescribable for me. His love is written all over my life.  

It seems almost the instant that I want to give up... 

His love comes blazing through like new sunlight.

His love is Constant. Unchanging. Sacrificial. Generous. Gentle. Supportive. Extravagant.

Some stories must be told and THIS IS one of them.

I was recently in Tokyo again for several reasons... 

An engagement. Two birthdays. A bon voyage. An anniversary... and little did I know, 

New Love. 

Celebrations were definitely in order!!!

I privately thought also it was to be a much needed fun and respite from my mostly "full-on" days in Miyagi. But my self centeredness was quickly ablated; almost immediately, when joined with friends for what was about to be one of the most epic weekends in history here in Japan.

It is not often that deep discussions about Jesus Christ are genuinely welcomed when amongst Japanese. But this was not such the case Saturday night.

There was about 10 of us staying at Yoshi's place, two of which had just gotten engaged several hours ago. This sparked many questions. "What??? They arent going to a hotel tonight? What??? They dont have sex??" Jaws dropped. Nearly speechless to hear that they had not kissed either was not only puzzling but almost hard for them to believe. As Christians we explained, " we are to honor God with all that we are and do as an expression of Love and Adoration." They all said, " Wow, we want love like that. We want what you have".

As the conversation deepened.. several were able to share their testimonies.

While feeling bummed I couldnt share this Love in my heart too... I silently prayed for each... for the words to fall on their ears like poetry, and the spirit of such love to invade their hearts so fiercely they would seek more.

Its true... it happened!

 Michelle and I had planned to head to worship the next morning and invited the others. 

Both Reiji and Eri wanted to come too. 

It was the first time for both.

The message was in both Japanese and English... 

and was exactly what had come up in conversation the night before.

Honoring God: with your heart, your mind, your body, and your resources.

Jokes quickly develop amongst all of us when we're together and this trip was no exception. 

"This is a ---....!!!", was a frequent statement exclaimed through out the weekend in lighthearted efforts to shorten the language gaps.

At one point saturday night someone said ( with regard to our discussion)... 

"This is Love".

It stuck.

The next morning... the closing song was,

"This is Love"!!!

As the weekend was quickly approaching its close...  some rather unexpectingly. We arrived at one train station just in time to run on. Quickly hugging we say good bye and as the doors close... I see Reiji still standing on the platform. "What... that was goodbye"? Oh...how this is the story of my life!  haha 

But this weekend left all of us a little different. I could see how this Love had worked its way in to his heart as we all pasted our faces to the window. I have the sense God is going to do something really special through his life... he just doesn't know it yet. haha.

Eri returned to worship that afternoon with the newly engaged friends. She senses God is calling her.

You see, a love this extraordinary compels us.  All of us... at His feet. 

I am reminded of the story of the woman who had a bleeding disorder for nearly 12 years. Having suffered a great amount and without recovery...she encounters Jesus passing through a large crowd and she reaches for His cloak trying desperately to touch Him. Immediately she is healed. She throws herself at His feet, upon recognizing the truth of what had happened to her. Its evident through this woman that no matter how hopeless the situation seems, believing in and finding such Love brings true freedom, healing and joy.

Still what I say of God  and love is incomplete,

 but no matter what I say, no matter what I do... I am bankrupt without it in my life.

These stories aren't finished.... but I am certainly left in great anticipation.

I am asked by nearly every Japanese here, " Why did you come here"?

This is why I am here.... to see Love overcome and save lives.

::: Heaven opens :::

 My last 10 months here in Japan have been many things. Challenging, beautiful, unforgettable, strange.... and lonely. There are millions of people on this small island nation of Japan but loneliness sits thick like a fog that somedays just wont lift. Today however was a   b e a u t i f u l  day full of evidence of His promises. I got to enjoy a long walk with Him with the Sakura in full bloom now in Miyagi. It was as if Heaven opened. 

We are social creatures but lately, especially within the confines of smaller spaces, I see how much all this unconscious talking is to soften the pain of loneliness and insecurity. Women especially talk way tooooo much... myself included. 

Its these insecurities in me that separate me more and more from others though....making a small crack, into a gap which then soon becomes a crevice or a valley.  I shouldn't pull away in doubt and fear when these are people who really know me and see me the most truthfully. But I do. Its as though I fear the goodness of the blessing... or that it will be taken away.

 Dun, dun, dun. Yes... it has become that obvious, I have abandonment fears. Just when I think I've gotten to a healthy place with it and that its all healed up... it shows its ugly face again. I have strong clear images of where Jesus stands in these old memories and has brought healing... but my flesh always wants to believe the lies again and doubt the truth.

     
         What the hell is that all about?

I used to think until now it is enough to remember others in prayer and memory. My memory often feels closer than all the business of life between two. Its important  but its not enough. We must be willing to be the first to say, "I love you. I will pray for you". We must be willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not produce a desired response. We must be willing to sacrifice time for the things we want in order to be with others.

Jesus shows us this in Luke 24 (* thank you Makito Sensei + Maki). Its not enough not only because we are oriented for relationship but because it is the people who know our hearts and love us dearly who will speak truth into us about who we really are and who we are being made into.

Even if it seems unlikely to us that we can be such a person.

Hanami with Haruna + teachers in Sendai, Tsutsujigaoka Koen

They are often God's whisper lovingly saying , "You are family. You are friend. You are loved. I am supporting you. You are offering much of God to others." But it gets all muddled up in the space between our ears. I hear these statements as pep talks. I often do not believe that what people are really seeing is what they are saying. Im slow of heart... knowing what is truth but not always believing it.

In Luke 24 after Jesus was found to have risen from the tomb, just as He said He would, those who had been closest to Him were talking back and forth; still doubting  that what was said to take place really did. Then Jesus appears to them saying, "Peace be with you". So to say, "Why the troubled hearts"? "Why the thick headedness"? "Why so slow hearted"?

Jesus shows us the example of true belonging and worthiness here even in the midst of stupidity (those moments when we feel the most alone), He patiently explains to us the truth. He doesn't give up and walk away from us. Desperate for more company with Him, they urge Him to stay with them a little longer. He does so and serves them as the host when in fact He is the guest in order to make clear the truth about His feelings toward them.  Even though their doubts were what was separating them from having peace, He then still reminds them that just as He promised He is sending the power from the Father for their equipping. He speaks into our lives the truth that we still haven't fully grown into.

At the end of March I had a four-day visit with my dear friend Michelle, family and new friends in Tokyo. Michelle and I seem to only get to see each other every three months so it was wonderful! Being together, experiencing God in the things around us, allows us to see these truths more clearly and call them into existence, becoming eye-witnesses together to what He is making of our lives for His purposes. It says that they returned to Jerusalem bursting with joy and worshipping Him after their visit with Jesus. His presence and promises brought them joy and peace. Without it... they filled the emptied air with worried talking.

Good food, fellowship and laughs in Tokyo
"Hey guy!" was used to get waiters attention rather than "sumimasen" or "excuse me".... and it worked!!!

Geographically I am  far from many and close to some. But, now, I hope that by letting go of what I think I should be or what I think I am not, I can embrace vulnerability better from where I am. Those that have put up with my distance and stupidity and chosen to remind me of the truth.... I love you from the bottom of my heart!

Though I was and still am at a loss for words considering the anniversary of the events here; I hope those I am here with in Japan know they are not alone. Its still too soon to know when and how what happened will become a "then" and not a "now... but don't loose hope. Be kind to yourself. May Heaven open and saturate you with its Love. Blessings on you Japan, and especially Tohoku. I love you. I am praying for you.

Sakura now in bloom in Miyagi
Their beauty speaks truth of His promise of restoration.

"There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.” -H. Nouwen

Two ears for One heart

The first service one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. 

Just as love of God begins in listening to His Word, 

so the beginning of love for the brethren

 is learning to listen to them.

 It is God's love for us that He not only gives us 

His Word but lends us His ear. 

So it is His work that we do for our brother 

when we learn to listen to him. 

D. Bonhoeffer

なつことはるなと蔵王 にいました！

Zao, Yamagata! It was Girl's day + Haruna's birthday!

I am thankful for you! 

体験イソマヌエル :: Emmanuel Experience.

With the celebration of Christmas, I have been considering what this means for our lives today. 

Mary  was said to have found favor with God...

He choose her: a simple, small, girl to serve as the mother of His Son. 

He chose her because her heart was pure. 

But the message to me comes greatest in Mary's response and reception to what was about to happen in her life. Sure, Mary was greatly troubled at the news and she had her doubts about it...

but, she trusted completely in God with a pure, meek, and humble spirit.
 Worry did not overcome her, she knew God was with her.

"For nothing is impossible with God"...

when hearing this, Mary's whole hearted response was,

"Behold, I am the bondslave of the Lord" 

Not only this, but "she treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart".

 Mary knew what was necessary in quieting her heart and mind in order to dispose herself in prayer. Such prayer and dependence on God is what made her pure. Nobody can love Jesus more than Mary.  And while I have fallen madly in love with Jesus through this Emmanuel experience... I want to love Him more + more.

I have been the opposite of Mary. Proud, doubting + selfish with love have been my ways.

I want to be humble, but even in writing this... I am not.  

" BE COMPLETELY HUMBLE + GENTLE, BE PATIENT, 

BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE"