: & :

you + me

there has been an `us` in my life now for almost two years

8.2

the sweetness of that day still feels fresh. I can taste it. I can feel it brushing up against my cheek. we danced to `la vie en rose` + it seemed fitting to do so. the day was so beautiful it almost hurt. it was and will always be the best day of my life. year one and year two have been entirely different things but despite the floundering around of year one and the battles we have faced together in year two... our hearts have become bound by a thousand strings. 

you hold firmly to the value of all things `shared`. 

and for me, growing into the independent woman I was, in america, as an only child; I`ve had much to learn from you. you have taught me (graciously + patiently) more in these two years then I could have ever learned my entire life as only a `me`. 

you share. 

everything. 

you save your last best bite of food for me.

you eat wheat free food only because I need to.

 you share your humor and your depth. 

two things I am certain I cannot live without.

you are humble. sweet. sincere

you are comfortable in your own skin.

something I am still trying to learn.

there is only truly one you.

and it is a profound and moving grace that you chose me as your wife.

its far from perfect. in fact its messy.

but there is no one Id rather dance this with then you.

this is the real thing.

my cup overflows

happy anniversary

xo

forever young

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” 
― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

::: all of this beauty :::

you are beautiful...

................................................................................................................................................

at a molecular and cellular level you are a marvel. your body is simultaneously a work of art and an unfathomable complex machine. most importantly it is a vessel for your spirit.

the existence of billions of other humans does not dim the miracle of your life; it confirms it.

beauty is not a matter of opinion but rather a fact. its an intrinsic component, part of what makes something what it is. it radiates independent of outward appraisal, it cannot be measured by a ruler or scale.

if something is beautiful, it is beautiful whether it is noticed or not. sometimes we want people to notice... don't worry, its human too. its not vain to believe you are beautiful. know it with conviction, learn to identify it. not only in yourself but in others as well.

CS Lewis in the Screw tape letters says this about our true identity...

...thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools...

...what He wants is each man in the long run to be able to recognize all creatures ( even ourselves) as glorious and excellent things.

rejoice in the differences that diversify and give variety to everyone around you.
believe in their beauty as fiercely as your own and you will inevitably generate the attractiveness you inevitably long for; people will want to be around you because they will want to see themselves the way you see them.

from the time we are young... we are looking for the things that identify us. this is our path of discovery. we chose ways to accentuate our physical beauty and search for ways to outwardly express our identity.

this task belongs to you and no one else. we chose what we conceal, what we will reveal, and with whom we will share it with. we do this not only with our hearts but also with our bodies. 

and so... while outwardly we may grow weary by the filth we discover in some choices; 
the truth remains... that He made beauty from ashes. 
the masterpiece alive inside you is just as much alive on the outside as well.

i say all this not to diminish or erase any bit of truth from the reality that we are far too easily persuaded to believe and see too much or too little in ourselves. 

humility is not discovered in thinking less of ourselves but rather in glorifying the One who made such remarkable beauty in you. 


        So may the choices we make always be made out of love,

may your beautiful feet carry you through trial and confusion, knowing when to lead and when to follow,

may your beautiful legs help you to firmly stand your ground,

may your beautiful knees bend in gratitude for your Savior,

may your beautiful belly be full of laughter, good food and plenty of drink that will make you well,

may your beautiful hands create works of righteousness.

may your beautiful shoulders grow strong enough to bear sorrow and hard work; soft enough to give and offer comfort and support.

may your mouth speak truth with kindness.

... and with your beautiful eyes.... see BEAUTY! 

::: eucharisteo :::

Each year I choose a theme.. something I both need and want to grow in my understanding of better. This year, 2013, I chose JOY.

What is it? Where does it come from? How does it appear? Who has it?

The books I've chosen to read this year have all been part of discovering more joy in life.

One such book is, "one thousand gifts", by Ann Voskamp

eucharisteo: its thanksgiving and it always proceeds the miracle.

There are countless accounts of Jesus healing people.

His words are simple but bold.

         " Rise. Go. Your faith has made you well"  Luke 17:19

The very word for " well" here in Greek is sozo. It means being made well or whole.

More literally... to be saved.

When did the leper and the countless others receive their sozo? 

When he began to give thanks.

"Our very salvation is associated with our gratitude."

The book paves the road for one to begin making steps to the full life...

Naming any and everything around you as something to give thanks for.

thank you for sunshine on my face

thank you for the refreshment of rain

thank you for a chance to see the world through Children's eyes... everyday.

thank you for clean clothes

thank you for a place to sleep

thank you for kind eyes

thank you for kind smiles

thank you for food to fill my stomach and to feel satisfied

thank you for daily graces

thank you for sound nights sleep

thank you for laughter that makes my heart elated

thank you for dance

thank you for legs that can jump

thank you for feet that can run

thank you for arms that can hug

thank you for hands to hold

my list continues...

slowly unwrapping more than one thousand gifts.

While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving.

though relationships may not "bud" and I may continue to "fail", and my work produce little "yield", though there is not enough money it seems to float my dreams, or at times no dream left in the heart...though others may choose different ways to live their own life, till my last heaving breath, I will fight to the death... " I will take joy" Habbakkuk 3:18

oh, what on earth does it look like to " rejoice in the Lord always". (Philippians 4:4)

I'm still learning... to consider it joy when troubles come my way. (James 1:2)

Perhaps its because without struggle we all too quickly take the pedestal of pride. 

"Pride slays thanksgiving"- Henry Ward Beecher

And all the while..true humility ( the kind that requires we go lower/ deeper) is filling us with grace.

As graces flows on and on and on ... the joy grows. From a heart marked with thanksgiving.

thank you for life... a full life.

:: humble "who" ::

"humility is not thinking less of yourself,

its thinking of yourself less."

c.s. lewis

::: 少しずつ ::: little by little :::

day break broke with light over japan this morning dawning on us a new day...

 for most around the world this brings renewal and hope.
maybe even a chance to put yesterday behind you.
but for all here in my dear,Tohoku, it signified a day marked with pain, destruction, and loss.
some with hope but still more  barely holding on.


"can there be such a "good" God? Where is God, really? " ... when thousands of lives were lost, and people continue to choke down the stingy taste of what is not a " then" yet and still very much a "now". for the most part you don't see it on the faces of the people here. 
the people of Tohoku are remarkably resilient. very slow to complain. hard working. determined to rebuild and restore their land. but its been two years, today.  and its from very raw voices I hear stories emerging from the lips of the people here. its good. it needs to be talked about. 

but the truth remains we cannot save ourselves from such destruction happening again...
and many are giving up.  so what are we to do? just endure? its not enough to recover from a negative to zero... we have to find ways to move from zero to the positive. to return to a place that enables us to " full lives". 

How do we live "full lives" when life is full of so much hurt, though?

 I can easily understand if such questions fill many minds and hearts today.
How can He be "good" when babies and loved ones died, communities were destroyed,  and dreams perhaps blown away? All in a matter of a moment.

to be frank... preparing to write this is something I have really put off.

i don't have the words for it.

and I dont have an answer for "why" the events happened or how long into the future it is until the people find their revival and Tohoku finds healing for the ache it feels.

but last night after grappling and spinning about this trying to fall asleep...  I dreamt of eyes looking on this land loving it only the way eyes can rightly express. these eyes were a Saviors eyes... full of loving kindness.

the way only a Fathers eyes could look on His daughter lovingly.

you see... he is slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. 
many think that the events of march 11 were God's punishment on the people here for wrongs done in the past, but this is not the loving God I know.

God is
slow to anger......

abounding in lovingkindness......


i often ask the wrong questions too, like "WHY", when I am faced with tragedy or uncertain circumstances.  but to ask why is to question His sovereignty and goodness.  the question we should better ask is, "WHO"? who is there at the time of tragedy? Who can we depend on? We can depend on God. 

Psalm 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.   

Selah

詩篇 46:1-3 JLB

"神様は私たちの隠れ家、また力、そして苦難にあえぐ時の確実な助けです. ですから、たとい全世界が吹っ飛び、山々が海に沈もうとも、こわがることはありません。 海よ、鳴りとどろき、白くあわ立つがよい。　山よ、激しく揺れ動くがよい。"

blessings  on you today and in all the tomorrows Tohoku.
there is no way that I can say something to make the pain go away or even know what its like for you...

keep your "spirit" that only you, Tohoku, have... but know that you don't have to go it alone.im going to keep on praying for you. with the smallest bit of understanding I can possess...my heart cries out to God with you. 

you are not alone.

yoriiso, minamisanriku, miyagi, japan 2012

::: full :::

life is so fragile.

what is here today, 

may be gone tomorrow.

love each day like its your last.

love your children.

love your husbands, wives...

love your friends.

love your mother and father.

love your neighbor.

don't miss a moment with each other.

... think on what is true, what is good, and what is beautiful!

：：祈り：：

i was asked recently when do i pray? 

the person asking wanted to know what holidays were traditional occasions for prayer.

 as someone who believes in God and follows Jesus... we are given the goodness of knowing an intimate relationship with God through prayer. 

we can pray any time.

we can pray any place.

there is no formula.

in fact the simpler... the better.

it is simply and humbling asking for God's help.

it is recognizing that you (me too) are in fact "created". 

this is only recognized by the acceptance of imperfection and therefore, 

need of a Creator (God) who is Perfect.

when we can accept this as truth for our lives... 

we can sit humbly before God without fear of condemnation.

instead... we can approach him assured of complete acceptance and love.

I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

Sweet Daisy Love , only 8 years old, who has been battling cancer for the past three years both knew it and believed it! This morning she went home to be with Jesus. Her family  remains in our prayers. You are not forgotten sweet girl. Your 8 years of life spoke volumes of His love through your courage, cheerful disposition, and faith! You have touched more hearts in your little time on earth than I could even hope to have done in all my years. 

When asked what she wanted to be when she grew up she would say, "Im leaning towards astronaut, but maybe warrior for the Lord". 

When I grow up... I want to be like you Daisy Love.


We, simple-minded humans, cannot understand the ways of the world. Life is pain. Everyone whether they admit it or not has it. But God is present... everywhere, and is working all things....Let not your hearts be troubled. There is prayer.

Peace be yours.

pray as simply as this:

"our father in heaven,

reveal to me who you are,

set the world right,

do what's best- as above , do so also below,

keep us alive with three square meals,

keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others,

keep us safe from ourselves and from the Devil,

You're in charge.

You can do anything you want.

You're ablaze in beauty!

YES, yes and forever again yes!"

::: a plate of good memories, please ? ::::

"Everybody is a story. When I was a child, people sat around kitchen tables and told their stories. We don’t do that so much anymore. Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time. It is the way the wisdom gets passed along. The stuff that helps us to live a life worth remembering."-Rachel Naomi Remen

 

This past week while sharing food and drink with co workers, I was reminded of the goodness of this that fills not just ones stomach but the deepest places in us.

 These pictures are from months ago when visiting Fukushima, Aizu ( 鶴ヶ城)Tsuruga Castle with dear friends. At one point during dinner, the conversation turned to history of samurai and I had to have a silent giggle to myself thinking of this day as I remembered the memories. But what I've learned in reflection is these stories are meant to be shared. When we visited Aizu Tsuruga Castle we learned about the history of the place... there were stories being shared.  Dinner reminded me of the importance of doing life together with others as well as sharing the stories. We are each rich with history and therefore each and of ourselves a story to be shared. Each new place we go and person we share an experience with creates a new story.

 

 

They say that helping, fixing, and serving represent three different ways of seeing life. 

When you help, you see life as weak. 

When you fix, you see life as broken. 

When you serve, you see life as whole. 

 

Fixing and helping may be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul.    

If this is the case, then simply sitting around a table in the company of friends, family or co workers sharing stories is a valuable thing... 

If not the finest!

 

Stories are your offering served up to those whose company you are within. 

You are making the world more whole by doing so... please tell your story!

 

love me some Japanese grandma... they have the BEST stories.

it was not easy to get this photo and if you really know me... you know why!

 

::: joy :::

i haven' t written in a long while.

its a mix of not knowing what to say and processing that which i do want to say.

i apologize too because I feel its my own fault that others dont understand or know me better and that I do not know others better.

but most of all... one thing I am certain of, and that is, that no matter how much I experience here, the difficulties, the heartaches, the laughs, the beautiful moments, the blahs, 

the shake um offs, the mundane.... there is: 

JOY!

there is so much JOY in living this life.

this years theme for 2013 is "one thousand gifts of joy"!

I want to remember everyday all that we are given.

My goal is to look back at the end of this year and have well over 

one thousand sheets of paper in my jar 

 filled with sweet reminders

 of how I was "gifted graces" in life this year... how I found joy in daily life.

"He who is grateful for little is given much laughter... and its counting the ways of Love..

 this is what multiplies joy."

Before Christmas we got to celebrate all that has been given since 3.11

My heart was full of so much JOY this day. It was a really nice time.

：：：c h e r i s h ：：：

to "cherish" is to value, to prize, to adore, to think lovingly of, to lay hold of.
there is no other word in the english language that comes close to its meaning.

to cherish His word is essential  in our lives and in the lives of those around us.



its daily I find myself needing to make decisions about where to "step"...


 the further and deeper  we go with God, as we allow Him to lead us deeper and deeper into the understanding of His affections and truth; the less of this world we we will try to hold onto.

so deciding to set our eyes on Him and devoting ourselves to learning what is "truth", is necessary for  re-caliberating the affections of our hearts.

Proverbs 7 reminds: 

" Keep my words",
" Treasure my commandments ",
" Bind them on your fingers",
" Write them on the tablet of your heart",
"Call Wisdom, 'my sister' ",
" Call understanding , 'your intimate friend' "...

without cherishing the word, "daily", we cannot live as a light with such an unashamed passion for goodness and truth.




Our God and our Father, help us we pray, not only to speak and to hear your word but by the enabling of your spirit to live it out. Forgive our sins Lord, forgive our meanderings in the dark places, help us with the ideas and perspectives that hold us in their grip rather than freeing us. Create in us clean hearts God. Set us free that we might live to the praise of your glory.

finishing well

Oh Yeah! This is it!

United States versus  Japan.

Women's Olympic Soccer Finale!

If you didn't watch either of the semifinals... then you'll have no idea what is about to begin.
Both unbelievable games.

Before the Olympics began, I was asked many times, 

" What if both USA and Japan make it to the finale? Who will you cheer for "?

.....  I can say honestly , BOTH!

This would mean a rematch after the World Cup final, which this alone qualifies it for a day to watch if any.

After watching the semi finale match of USA versus Canada I realized the only thing I take a certain amount of national pride in is ....

...... the athleticism, heart and tenacity with which my countrymen play their sports!

I'll be cheering for all players in the game.... 

but a Gold for the USA is my hope!!!

May the best team win and may they do so with heart. May they find real gratitude for the strength, stamina, and ability to grasp the medal and finish well.

It's gonna' be GOOD! Game on!


How we finish is far more important than how something begins.
"素晴らしく”：Finish well.

Hebrews 12:1-2 " And therefore , since we have such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross..."

::: running with joy :::

the olympics are upon us.  im pumped. its remarkable to me to see so many discpilined athletes come together from all over the world to demonstrate harmony, sportsmanship, and dedication. there is a scotsman who's story is famously known for what later was made into the movie, "The Chariots of Fire".

His name is Eric Liddell. 

He is most widely known for his refusal to run on Sunday in the 1924 Olympics in Paris. He was to run in his strongest event: the 100 meter race. Instead he registered to run in the 400 meter. At the time before His race, he was handed a piece of paper that had the following inscribed on it,

"Those who honor me, I will too honor".

Liddell ran the race with the verse from 1 Samuel 2:30 in his hand and claimed Olympic Gold and a new world record with a time of 47.6 seconds. When asked to describe his race plan, he said, " The secret of my success over the 400 meters is that I run the first 200 meters as fast as I can. Then, for the second 200 meters, with God's help, I run faster." His story continues as a legacy, but what He chose soon after His Olympic gold speaks boldly of His commitment to God.   Born to Christian missionaries who were working in China, Liddell returned to China soon after his olympic victory turning away from all  new founded success. It is here, in China, that he ultimately would face his death. He was sent by the Japanese to an Internment camp in Weihsien, in the province of Shantung, where he inspired and spurred on many but suddenly died from a brain tumor. This was an individual who lived his life to the absolute fullest possible. 

He dedicated his life in obedience to God's will and teaching others. He encouraged them to live in accordance with the example Jesus established for us to follow. He was a happy guy that ran with great joy. Often chastised by his sister for his  fervent passion for running, Liddell saw His lifes purpose clearly through running regardless of others rebuke.

         Liddell has become an enormous encouragement in his story of discipline and    passion. He believed, "God has made him for Himself for China". 

 " I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure".- Eric Lidell

 You see, Faith is like a muscle that when not exercised... atrophies. We are running for a great prize... or at least you should be! Putting not only our bodies through physical training, but exercising our faith too is of utmost importance.

 It is something worth thinking about:

What goal are you running towards?  

+

 Is there joy and freedom experienced in your race? 

+

 Does each breath, step, stride bring you one step closer to the finish line?

Philippians 3:12-14  

¹² Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on ^[h]so that I may lay hold of that ^[i]for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. ¹³ Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.