体験イソマヌエル :: Emmanuel Experience.

With the celebration of Christmas, I have been considering what this means for our lives today. 

Mary  was said to have found favor with God...

He choose her: a simple, small, girl to serve as the mother of His Son. 

He chose her because her heart was pure. 

But the message to me comes greatest in Mary's response and reception to what was about to happen in her life. Sure, Mary was greatly troubled at the news and she had her doubts about it...

but, she trusted completely in God with a pure, meek, and humble spirit.
 Worry did not overcome her, she knew God was with her.

"For nothing is impossible with God"...

when hearing this, Mary's whole hearted response was,

"Behold, I am the bondslave of the Lord" 

Not only this, but "she treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart".

 Mary knew what was necessary in quieting her heart and mind in order to dispose herself in prayer. Such prayer and dependence on God is what made her pure. Nobody can love Jesus more than Mary.  And while I have fallen madly in love with Jesus through this Emmanuel experience... I want to love Him more + more.

I have been the opposite of Mary. Proud, doubting + selfish with love have been my ways.

I want to be humble, but even in writing this... I am not.  

" BE COMPLETELY HUMBLE + GENTLE, BE PATIENT, 

BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE"

::: giving thanks:::

 two roads diverged in a wood, and i-

i took the one less traveled by.

and that has made all the difference.

-robert frost

 today marks "thanksgiving" for me here in japan. while it is officially tomorrow in america, i am reminded of one thing: every day is a day to give thanks!


the changing of the seasons here are not only beautiful but also a part of japan's rich cultural story. each season shares a bit more about the "life" of japan. our own  lives are much and the same. each changing of season, while some rough, maybe some smooth... tell a story about us.

japan is just now passing from autumn to winter. the こうよう( autumn colors) bear witness to how something as vulnerable as the trees shedding their leaves can be both beautiful and graceful.

walking through the grocery today, i began laughing to myself as I watched a child in her stroller throwing her arms and kicking her legs about in a tantrum uncomfortable in all her winter clothing. she wanted it off. now! i throw similar tantrums "inside" sometimes... i want things to remain the same. i like consistency. but growth in this life to its very fullest can never come about without seasons... with out change.

as i have stopped to look upon the beauty of the changing seasons here in japan, i discover...the full color and beauty only comes when we don't fight the change. each and every day is an opportunity for us to give thanks, share the goodness of what that day has for us. if the day requires a "shedding"... shed. this very day, God might have chosen for you to be one of the many trees in the forest that must "shed and die". what you + i cannot see is the masterpiece He is creating when we must do so.

" This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it" 
-Psalm 118:24 
living a life of thanks is not easy by any means. i see many others doing it much better than me. its much easier to grumble. living a life of thanks means living a life of worship. in spirit. in truth. in action. it means being the best possible expression of His love that I can be each and every day.

New apple farmer buddy: Nakenida farms

it is more than a どもありがとうございます ( thank you very much)... its a living it out, こころからdeep かんしゃします (I'm grateful)。I am grateful for many things today... for wonderful people in my life, for my family, for having more than enough of what I need to live daily, and for even the extras. I fail miserably at living this out well though. I am grateful to God for life ( oh how many of you don't even realize what a miracle it is to be alive), for this day and for his amazing love, but I often miss the many "little" opportunities to live it well in "worship". While the seasons of my life may each appear different, I want them to tell the story, "主をさんびします(I worship/praise God)".

To some who read this, it may seem unfitting to your life,maybe you don't believe in God or believe that he created your life with purpose but thirteen years ago I made a choice to continue down one road or go down another. Just like you and I make choices everyday. I chose the one less traveled by. i chose the road because I saw something of Gods beauty along it.  my life has never been the same since... but it has also never been better! some seasons have been more graceful than others but regardless of my stubbornness, His love and faithfulness has remained the same... constant like rich soil

Shiho san　しほさ

for me to grow in year after year. often, i get to see the beauty of what He is making out of you and me; the forest and the trees!

each of our lives have great purpose. you were made and given life in order to be a "daily expression of His rich goodness" . though daily we make mistakes, nothing in you was made with mistake. everything you  + i do is an opportunity for us to express our gratitude.

 主たかんしゃしましょう！( lets give thanks to God), for all that we have been given. We can do this in worship by , "こころをつくし,せいしんをつくし、おもいをつくして、主なるあなたのかみをあいせよ" -Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind.”Matthew マタイの （ふくいんしょ）22：37 

 

::: one day :::

Josh Garrels: farther along 

Please click on link above, lyrics can also be found there.  The new album "love and war and the sea in between" is insanely good.

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Phew... a rough two months its been for me here in Japan as the "foreigner".  A deep valley I feel I have just passed through. Spirit heavy, emotions all over the place, heart discouraged, tested, tried... still always knowing God present, but struggling to "do" life as a "believer". Loving God with ALL that we are... I fall short of the full measure every day. The path is not easy... it's narrow...

Ichinoseki, Iwate, Japan

Two things remain strong in my heart and mind though..

I love Jesus + Japan. This is why I am here.

 Great danger comes to us though when we begin fearing man and not fearing God. This was my problem I think.  I do not mean He is a scary God, only that we should revere Him and that He alone has the power to give us eternal life or death. While the circumstances here have been difficult, I really needed my eyes turned back up to Him. I was so worried about respecting and honoring the people and being sensitive to the culture here, that I was conforming and forgetting who I was, and who I belonged to. 

 I am His!!!  

I can trust that God's perfect goodness and faithfulness will always see me through. Life with Jesus is good, brothers and sisters. Japan is a rich + complex culture, one I may never fully understand but I can have compassion for my brothers + sisters at this time,

without sacrificing "me" or losing heart.

He is personal and knows "my"and "your" name.

 Peace begins with a smile,

a smile I will cheerfully wear! 

Lets keep going together.

Greater things are still to come...

Temporary Housing, Iwate, Japan/ mobile cafe FUN!

" Love God, your  God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!" 

Deuteronomy 6:5 

 

...inhale and exhale

I cannot come to grips with my current state...
Feel much like a fish flapping around on the dry shore.
Needing desperately and longing only to be in safe, living water


breath in the air, feeding on your word... sustains me
but truth remains,
insufficient and inadequate...me


What is a "fish" with out water?
What am "I" without  You, my God?


You are mighty to save...
God save me.
I need you!

true love

Reading Bonhoeffer again. I am amazed at the heart and understanding of such a man about God. I can be so blind, selfish and callous; I am so weak too!

oh that God would help me:

see with eyes like His,
understand  + know with a mind like His,
love with compassion like His...

“God loves human beings. God loves the world. Not an ideal human, but human beings as they are; not an ideal world, but the real world. What we find repulsive in their opposition to God, what we shrink back from with pain and hostility, namely, real human beings, the real world, this is for God the ground of unfathomable love.”
-Diedrich Bonhoeffer (Letters)

:: selah ::

  

dear God, i can do nothing but stammer to you. i can do nothing but hold out my heart to you.  you created us in your likeness. our hearts are uneasy until they find peace in you.

-sophie scholl in her final hours before her death

with eyes wide open...

"i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
--i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)"
— E.E. Cummings

:: be still :: 静けさ :: 安らか ::

:: Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth! ::
psalm 46:10

i was encouraged lovingly to "have a walk" yesterday... in other words, Alea, you need a rest! I am so grateful for it too. i know an ' alea' who would have not long ago said, "pff, rest.. who are you to tell me what I need"? but last year really did 'sock me' in good and i am reminded of how dependent i am on my loving God. we need  one another and the reminder from a friend sometimes to
take a rest. i didn't realize until the day began + finally i allowed myself to settle into the stillness of just "being" there at the lake here at camp morigo, of where i was spiritually, emotionally and physically just a year ago. i decided to revisit my blog and found a post from the same
day last year. i found myself broken a bit trying to get my head around how quickly i had forgotten that all i am is His. this time last year, i was so weak
and dependent on the people around me + on my Lord that I could not even get to my feet to get myself a glass of water. being as strong willed + independent as i am, it was destructive to "kingdom me"  (私 王国 ).
 i am reading, "dangerous surrender" right now and it is not by coincidence i think that i found myself stumbling upon pages addressing the very thing...again. being able bodied now + with a heart full of gratitude for how God spared my life and revealed Himself to me... had gotten me here full of hope; but my humanity was
leading me down a slippery path again.. the one that leads to the belief that, " I can do all things". while this is true.. it is missing the most important part, " ....THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH"!  And no one comes to the Father except through His son Jesus Christ. our communion and relationship with the Father is sacred. time to just sit + be still is essential to our lives. as essential as the air we breath. it feeds our spirit, our minds, our hearts + our physical body (nervous system, respiratory system, circulatory system, digestive system, reproductive system).

 i don't mean to say that i have forgotten all of what last year gave to me... i remember it well and each morning, i wake with a deep + profound gratitude for life. i think since getting to japan... i have felt finally i am able to give some thing back as an expression of my gratitude to my Lord. suffering is personal to me now and i can have empathy i think for the victims even though i know nothing of what it was like for them to experience the tragedy of the disasters here.
little do i remember though (my brain is so small)... that i can offer him the most when I come and be still before him... remembering He is God. He is Creator...I am "created". He is Lover.... I am "loved".
we can love only because He first loved us, and I cannot offer a listening ear and sit peacefully next to a victim offering my presence and compassion unless i first sit still and peacefully before God listening,waiting + giving thanks for Him: the maker of all things. i've met people throughout my life that think im "nuts" about God or "nuts" for coming to Japan at this time... but all I can say is when you find yourself in the place i did last year, where you know nothing else but throw yourself at Him, and you know nothing else can save you... you cant even help yourself... you surrender it ALL! i don't fear much these days after what I experienced last year. spending time with doctors who lack bedside manner and being told they think its cancer are at about the top of the list. only thing I really fear is "myself". i am fearful of me and how easily i can fall back into the trap of thinking i am "invincible" or how easily i acquire the key to kingdom me again and again. 
ive been traveling this journey with Jesus for a while now but nothing in my life prepared me for facing the "reality" of death. my body was failing me ... thankfully,i am alive today to share an amazing story of love, but i have got to remember that God is my Sustainer. Only He knows the number of my days.

"be still alea... remember I am your God" was the calm and gentle voice I heard in the stillness reminding me of who He has been for me, who He is now for me + who He will always be for me. He is always the same...
He saved me, healed me + loves me. what in that is not worthy of gratitude and adoration?


he invites us: "come unto me... " matthew 11:28. is this not one of the sweetest passages in the new testament? this need not be only once with acceptance of faith, we can come to him daily and we should. in fact i think we see ourselves more clearly, when we aknowledge we are weak and limited.

we are made to give. made to give ourselves away... to others in love and service, but not with out first remembering; all we are is His. we are made to give ourselves to him first. be still. give him you. for when we are weak, He is strong.

let us love one another

good morning tohoku! as we find ourselves on the anniversary of hiroshima yesterday... maybe memories come to mind for many. but perhaps the time can be looked upon with remembrance of "peace". ”へいわ”、peace + harmony, is something of virtue here, but we also want to understand how to be peacekeepers. how do we keep peace ( へいわ) in our hearts when our goodness towards others is returned with hate or rejection? as i had mentioned in the last post, we all have the capacity for しゅくふく... to bless life. many times when something has happened to me or someone has said/done something that makes me feel damaged... too often my response is not "blessing life" sad to say.

the longer our hearts remain focused on hurt, the more our hearts begin to rot from anger that grows inside us. as we choose to pray for or しゅくふく(blessing) others even when we are still hurt...we too are blessed。In this, by making peace (へいわ), our hearts become healthy and likewise so do our relationships with one another too.

its beautiful to see + hear of so many people here to help heal tohoku. i hope more people will continue to reach out + serve these communities with big LOVE. the need is great. i say, "tohoku" only and not "japan" as a whole, not out of lack of care for the rest of this nation, but only out of deep heart felt respect for those here in this region. daily life as most know it has returned to normal for most of japan, but reminders of the disasters are everywhere, every minute of the day for people here. i know because I live in it here with you. though i do not understand what you went through, nor what today is like for you, i feel deeply for you!

this video was shot  just days after the disasters here in Tohoku at Magoso Elementary School in Kibera Slums, in Nairobi, Kenya as prayers and song of support to a teacher from here in Sendai (I hope I have that correct??)  it was translated for me today... and I, as well as the rest of those watching, could not hold back the tears we were fighting to restrain.  such empathy as this... in such young hearts... this is truly what we were made to give to one another.

Here are the lyrics they sing (subtitles are in Japanese):

We are so sad, our tears don’t stop crying

So many people have passed

And lost their valuable possessions

The shock penetrates our hearts, we are all crying

We are thinking of all the people of Japan

The shock is too much, we are all crying

We are thinking of all the people of Japan

Please take heart, our brothers in Japan

Don’t be sad, our sisters in Japan

We are thinking of you always, our mothers in Japan

Please be safe, our fathers in Japan

We continue to pray for you, our grandmothers in Japan

We hope you are alright, our grandfathers in Japan

Please take care, our friends, our children

We continue to pray for you, we are thinking of all the people in Japan

so the message for this new day, dear friends, is love one another. be peace keepers! keep へいわ ( peace) in your hearts, be a しゅくふく(blessing). be たちあう (present). true peacekeepers know "who" they need to stand up for! is it yourself or another?? lets think of one another and be "available".

"let us rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. live in harmony with one another".- paul

(message adapted from OLC)

its a new day

middle names are not given in Japan, but being American, and that I do have one, my middle name, 'Dawn', is on everything. mostly there is confusion as to which name is my first or second and whether or not it all one name. I never gave much attention to the meaning of my middle name until coming here when people began asking me about it. the meaning of "Dawn" is "first light of day". the morning time brings to mind many favorites for me though. i love breakfast time. i love the stillness of the morning. i love the possibilities of a new day.

: ouchi san :

a story was recently shared with me about how satellite images of Tohoku were taken the evening of 3.11.2011 after the disasters here in Japan. the images show Tohoku in complete darkness... void of any light. all of Japan is normally very well lit, so this image is etched into my brain. it will take many months + many years to recover + rebuild what was lost in the disasters. most of it will never be the same. but hearts can be healed. i both know it + believe it. Tohoku (as a place + people) are special to me + i am right where I am supposed to be right now i think. just as "dawn" means "first light of day" I hope to bring a little encouragement for a new day through this blog: good morning tohoku.
i am only one small person.... i cannot do anything on my own, but i am confident that if we all come together to be "lights" present here in Tohoku, life will be strengthened by the greatness of LOVE. the capacity to bless life is in everybody. all of our lives have purpose.

work in progress

I have wanted to get this up and going for longer than you can know... but with my lack of computer saviness, and the dilemma I face here currently of no regular internet use .... things have been delayed. Still no excuse, but please know this is a work in progress, as am I! I hope that in the days, weeks, months and years to come that you will travel this journey with me in my hopes to love on Japan if even in the smallest ways.